I am a Senior Software Engineer who started meditating in 2022 for stress relief.
It did not stay stress relief.
For a while I felt torn between the person everyone knew and the heart beating under the floorboards.
Now I document the integration.
| Day Job | Night Shift |
|---|---|
| Role: Senior Software Engineer | Role: Field Reporter, Mystics Inc. |
| Stack: Go, Kubernetes, Linux | Stack: Meditation, self-inquiry, Kashmir Shaivism |
| Bug: Burnout | Feature: Awakening |
My documentation is organized by "Levels" of intensity, for the skeptic and the seeker alike:
- Level 0: Technical — Burnout, stress, and the rational analysis of "woo."
- Level 1: Transitional — When the worldview cracks and the double life begins.
- Level 2: Mystical — Longing, devotion, and the "Dark Night."
- Level 3: Union — Space Division. Direct experience and the dissolution of self.
Live field notes on Substack. The organized, depth-based compilation lives in the archive.